Saturday, October 17, 2020

Good-bye Handsome Boy

Today was the day every animal parent dreads...the day you have to love them enough to let them go.


Titan was a one in a million dog.  He never went to the bathroom in the house, never chewed up things that didn't belong to him, never counter surfed, never got into the trash, loved to go for a walk and ride in the car, was a very good "talker" and a total bed hog.  


The past year he became quite a whiner and he recently had x-rays to be sure there wasn't anything going on that we needed to know about.  He was in great shape, other than a little arthritis, which is to be expected in a dog that just turned eleven.

such soulful eyes
After a trip to the vet on Thursday for routine vaccinations and an aspiration of a lump on his face (just a lump, no cancer cells) he came home and slept most of the day, which is his usual MO, since the anti-anxiety meds he takes before a visit last awhile.  He had dinner, went out with Bill, got a treat and went back to sleep on his pillow in the living room...all very normal.


He woke up at 10:00pm and he acted as though he was high on speed.  He paced, sniffed and sniffed and sniffed, panted, cried, seemed disoriented and unable to relax.  I took him out to pee before bed and took him to bed with me.  He jumped up, as he always did, on Bill's side and although he laid down, he didn't settle down.  He was just alert and unsettled.  


The next 36 hours were painful for all of us.  He didn't sleep except for three separate hours where he totally crashed; therefore, we didn't sleep either.  The rest of the time he spent pacing, panting and crying from deep inside himself. We took a trip to the emergency vet in Portsmouth (45 minutes) in the rain at 1:00am.  He was quiet for the trip there and back and was well behaved with the vet.  We came home with an antihistamine prescription because we felt he was having a reaction to his anti-anxiety meds, as well as a sense of optimism.  Got home at 4:30, he went to his pillow and promptly fell asleep.  We climbed into bed and promptly fell asleep, too.


His nap lasted only until 7:30am, when he awoke and was howling/ barking nonstop while sitting on his pillow.  He ate his breakfast and went outside with Bill to wander the yard and do his business, then back to howling/barking.  It was heart wrenching and we decided to call our regular vet.  Thankfully, we were able to get him right in.


We didn't go to the vet for the specific purpose of saying good-bye, although it was a consideration if we couldn't come up with a resolution, so we wrestled with what to do...let him go or give him a sedative and see if he wasn't better after some good rest.  Ultimately, we decided the best solution for him was to let him go in peace, as we had always promised him we would never let him suffer and it was clear, he was suffering, although we were unable to determine the actual cause of the problem.


This was completely unexpected and took us by surprise, which made saying good-bye so much more difficult.  Both of us weren't  able to go into the office with him because of Covid, so they were understanding enough to come to the truck for the procedure.  The Dr. gave him a sedative to relieve his anxiety and they brought him out to us, where he immediately relaxed for the first time in nearly two days. 

They told us to call when we were ready to say good-bye, allowing us to have as much time with him as we needed.  It was a little crowded but Bill sat on one end of him and I sat on the other and we petted him and talked to him and told him how special he was and how much we loved him and would love him forever.  


The actual procedure was calm and unhurried and he slipped away from us and over the Rainbow Bridge, just.like.that.  The Dr. and her assistant left us again to spend more time with him until we were ready for them to take him inside.  


We are devastated and our hearts are broken.  Our lives  revolved around Titan and there will be a great big empty hole which is going to take quite some time to heal.


Thank you Sir Titan of Nottingham for sharing your life with us.  You will never be forgotten, instead you will live in our hearts - forever...


Rest peacefully handsome boy, you were one in a million and will be missed beyond measure.  We loved you to the moon and back!



Titan McGovern 
aka 
Sir Titan of Nottingham

9/01/09 - 10/17/2020